Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Recently my circle of friends that I fondly refer to as the "autism moms" dog piled me and forced me into getting a Facebook page. I resisted... I mean heck I have a My Space that I can't figure out that my 15 yr old took a mere 10 minutes to prove that I am indeed the most technologically inept person on the planet while helping me get a few things up on it. My two oldest swore to me while I ranted that I was being pressured into Facebook that "really Mom it's MUCH easier than My Space you can do it!" Amazing the endless faith children have in their parents isn't it?? HA!
So I caved... I set up the Facebook and darn it IT IS easy! I have photos and all sorts of things ! I think I am smarter since purchasing that Blackberry back in November the Alltel dude told me I really needed because I picked up Facebook like I was born for it!
The strangest element of Facebook for me has been the reconnection with old friends from high school.. I mean its WEIRD they all got OLD... I am SURE glad that didn't happen to ME! So here I sit showing my kids the boy I went to Senior Prom with , the girl that was my best friend, other kids that I remember this or that about and really just feeling all warm and fuzzy that there they are doing well, having great looking kids, married or not, but at any rate looking like they lived out the potential we all had on that long ago graduation day when we were all so young and were sure we knew everything!
Today I followed a link to a blog from one of my Facebook reconnections to read about her life... she too has a child with autism. It's bonded us instantly...we speak the same language, I can look into her son's eyes in the pictures his mother has so lovingly taken and posted so proudly and see that same look of "oops wrong planet" that my child often has, I can feel and hear her pain in her blog entries as she tries to do the right thing for him always and tries hard not to wallow in "that" feeling that lots of us "autism moms" have.
My child who lives with autism doesn't know that her mother often feels powerless, she doesn't know the tears I shed sometimes are for her and how hard her life can be, she doesn't know I spend sleepless nights praying to God that I will outlive her so I will know she is always taken care of, she doesn't know that the world isn't ready for her kind of brilliance. She does know her mom tries to keep lots of drawing paper around, just the right kind of pencils, her little brother at bay, and all the other little things that make her life less stressful.
I am blessed with many friends... those "autism moms" that pressured me into Facebook also "pressure" me to go to the beach for a weekend each year with them where we mostly talk about our kids, shed a few tears, drink LOTS of fun concoctions, and LAUGH ALOT! They also "pressure" me to go out for lunches, dinners, nights at the movies, an occasional couples night and so forth. Some of them are farther along in their journey, some not as far along but all bonded by our proud title of "autism mom".